{"id":364,"date":"2013-09-04T15:10:30","date_gmt":"2013-09-04T20:10:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/extraterrestrialvisitor.wordpress.com\/?p=364"},"modified":"2013-09-30T10:02:43","modified_gmt":"2013-09-30T15:02:43","slug":"superstitious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.extraterrestrialvisitor.com\/?p=364","title":{"rendered":"Superstitious"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"superstitious\"<\/a>I\u2019ve been diagnosed with leukemia. It\u2019s more difficult then you would think to keep something like this a secret for very long. You tell maybe one close friend or relative and soon after everybody knows. How does that happen, I wonder. I guess it\u2019s that people gather for one reason or another and after exhausting all the usual polite conversation, there\u2019s a quiet lull and then someone will say something like, \u201cHey. Have you heard about so-and-so?\u201d They\u2019ll reminisce and share stories about the person. In my case for example, about a predictable, silly, character who\u2019s view of life and of humans can be both humorous and infuriating. And so, what follows are inquiries and well wishing through cards, phone calls and emails from distant family, friends, and acquaintances who have heard about your new diagnosed medical condition.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a variety of categories I put these communications into, There\u2019s the \u201cSorry to hear about this\u201d, the \u201cYou\u2019re a fighter\u201d, the \u201cI\u2019ve been, or my mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, etc, has been through this very same thing.\u201d My personal favorites are the humorous ones. The notes that ask for my stuff after I die, or the dirty jokes about doctors and nurses. <\/p>\n

My least favorites are the \u201cWe\u2019re praying for you\u201d promises. They make me uncomfortable. Maybe it\u2019s just something people say at times like these. I hope so. \u201cHey, save that stuff for people who pray themselves\u201d, I want to tell them, but that would be unkind, like giving back the hand made wool socks an aunt has given you for Christmas.<\/p>\n

So, I don\u2019t respond. I can\u2019t help but think rationally about what they say though. I want to ask them: \u201cIf you believe that there\u2019s some all powerful God who is in control of everything, why would you be praying to Him to save me?\u201d My guess is that this is the same God who gave me the leukemia in the first place. I really doubt that he\u2019s going to change his mind.<\/p>\n

I recall some of my childhood catechism classes, those occasions where enlightened teachers explained the power of prayer. \u201cGod will grant your requests if you just pray often and hard enough.\u201d They would say. I tried it more than once. I never got that pony, and I remained so lousy at sports that I always was picked second last on teams, right ahead of Donny what\u2019s-his-name, the kid with Polio.<\/p>\n

So, I asked Sister Colette, a woman who claimed to know all about the value of prayer, why my prayers weren\u2019t answered. She told me that God was real busy and only listened to the prayers that were important. He doesn\u2019t have time to listen to a selfish, frivolous request for a pony. \u201cHe knows what\u2019s best for you.\u201d She said, and then dismissed me by telling me to pray for poor people, sick people, and most importantly, the poor souls who are in purgatory waiting for a vacancy in heaven.<\/p>\n

After that revelation I kept thinking, If He knows what\u2019s best for me, then why the hell should I bother to pray in the first place? I had to admit that if He got me that pony I don\u2019t know where I could keep it anyway. So maybe Sister Colette had a point. So my philosophy became: Let\u2019s not start asking questions, or look for trouble. If there\u2019s someone in charge, I don\u2019t think He enjoys a bunch of nagging believers always asking for stuff. Don\u2019t piss him off.<\/p>\n

Could it be that I got into this leukemia condition because I\u2019m a nonbeliever? I\u2019m sure some people would think so, and that\u2019s okay with me. These are the guys that you should be praying for, I think. Not for me because I can\u2019t make sense of it all.<\/p>\n

So please. Don\u2019t pray for me. If you need to pray, spend that time on believers, like the people who want ponies. I don\u2019t mean to be ungrateful, but really, I don\u2019t want your God\u2019s help. Don\u2019t pray for me because if I come out of this, if I\u2019m cured, I don\u2019t want to strengthen anybody\u2019s superstitions, especially my own.<\/p>\n

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